Shi ding, the betrothal meal
The engagement that follows the matching of the horoscopes: the man’s family brings gifts to the woman’s house, and sweet eggs or sweet noodles are eaten that day — four set out, two eaten.
Pronunciation shí dìng｜Rites of life｜One entry in the Chaoshan glossary
What it means
Also called engagement, or the setting of the agreement. The man’s family brings gifts to the woman’s house, usually a pair of gold earrings or a gold ring with cakes, sweets, white sugar and noodles, and the woman’s family always sends something back.
The eating has its rule: of four sweet eggs only two are eaten, of two only one, and the one left is cut in half with chopsticks — that half is left for the woman’s side.
When you see it
After the horoscopes have been matched. Once the engagement is made, both families send cakes and sweet noodle soup to relatives, friends and neighbours — nowadays mostly noodles and white sugar — which is how the match is announced; the agreement counts from that day.
Words easily confused
Shi ding is the betrothal, not the formal presentation of the bride price. That is the most solemn of the six rites, with gifts in even numbers and a pig’s pork as well, called the washing-meat, in thanks for the woman’s parents having raised her.
Read next: Chaoshan marriage: from the first approach to the return visit.
See also: Rites of life: the five thresholds side by side.
Same group: the six rites, the return to the bride’s house, the banquet table.
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Last revised: 3 November 2026