Ku jia, weeping at the wedding
When the bridal chair reaches the door the bride weeps aloud, and her mother, her sisters-in-law and her sisters weep with her: thanks for being raised, and instructions to the younger ones.
Pronunciation kū jià｜Rites of life｜One entry in the Chaoshan glossary
What it means
When the bridal chair reaches the door the bride weeps aloud, and this is ku jia. Those who weep with her are her mother, her sisters-in-law and her sisters: one starts, the rest follow, a spell of weeping and then a pause.
What is wept comes in set pieces: thanks to her parents for raising her, farewell to her brothers and their wives, instructions to the younger ones to be dutiful, a request to the neighbours to keep an eye on the house. Lines are also made up on the spot — whoever has been good to her gets wept to.
When you see it
From the moment she steps out of the door until the chair is lifted; in some places the weeping carries on from the chair to the edge of the village.
Words easily confused
This is not the sisters’ song of the sisters’ table: that is sung, and cheerfully, over old times; this is wept, by one and then by several. The old saying had it that the louder the weeping, the more the neighbours knew the daughter could not bear to leave.
Read next: Chaoshan marriage: from the first approach to the return visit.
See also: Rites of life: the five thresholds side by side.
Same group: the sisters’ table, the six rites, the parting portion.
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Last revised: 4 November 2026